I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
