I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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