Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
