Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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