Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
