you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
