Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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