So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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