It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
