its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
