Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
