So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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