i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize