is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
