I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
