I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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