I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
