Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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