i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
