There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
