this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
