I'm jealous of your bromance
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
