all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
