Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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