I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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