just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
