therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
