Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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