Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
