Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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