she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
