why do cheetos always look like penises
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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