I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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