I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
