you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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