Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
