dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
