Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
