I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
