it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
