That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
