i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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