A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
