Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
