I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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