I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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