Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize