6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You smell like stripper and shame
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
