I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
