"it" just moved
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
