Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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