Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
