ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
