I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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