You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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