dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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