So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
